Laysan: Scar Tissue

Thread 1: Part 16

Laysan

Scar Tissue

(here) - recently

I revived quickly when we arrived home and I saw the two gifts waiting for Paty. I was excited to find out what Gardner had made Paty as my present.

Paty and I were waiting for Gardner to come out of the bathroom. Paty sat me in a chair and held up a finger as if to say that I should wait. She left the room briefly and when she returned she had a small electronic device of some kind which she set on a shelf and fiddled with.

I jumped suddenly when I heard a quiet pop. Slowly, Paty's voice amplified centered inside my head.

"Can you hear me, Laysan?" she asked as she spoke in the direction of the device. I smiled. She had a microphone. "Can you hear me?" she asked again.



"Yes!" I quickly placed a hand over my mouth, though. I am used to hearing my voice from my experiences with recording songs, but this was quite strange. My voice sounded as though it had travelled across a room to get to my ear. Indeed, I suppose, it had. The ear plugs still blocked the sounds that I was producing, but they were allowing me to hear sounds picked up by the microphone three meters away.

"Whoa!" I said. "Weird!"

Paty smiled and walked off somewhere while I made a steady stream of strange noises just to hear my voice divorced as it seemed from its origin. I was making a series of owl sounds by the time Gardner and Paty returned.

"I guess that Paty has introduced you to the speakers in these earplugs, Laysan?" Gardner asked.

"Who who?" I responded.

"Ha! Very funny. Open Laysan's gift, Paty!" Gardner sat next to me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. I had moved on to making high pitched pinging sounds.

Paty smiled at us an began ripping the bow off the box containing my gift.

I continued to play with the strangeness of the voice in my head by speaking into my cupped hands. "Helmsman, prepare to dive! Ping! Ping!"

Paty pulled out blue and silver sheets of tissue paper and threw them in all directions as I began popping my hand over my mouth repeatedly as I held a steady note. I stopped abruptly as Paty pulled a bust made of molded dark leather with hair made from scores of long leather strands tipped in silver, black, and blue feathers.

The face was mine. Indeed Gardner had made my hair tonight to match exactly that of the bust.

"Oh! This is awesome guys!" Paty said. "Thank you!"

"Wait! Wait!" Gardner exclaimed as she jumped up. "Check this out!" She searched around through the strands of hair until she found one in particular.

"This was Laysan's idea! When you guys feel like playing, you just grab a feather and give it a light tug like this." A small folded piece of paper popped out from where the leather strand attached to the bust. Gardner picked it up and handed it to Paty. "Laysan will do whatever the paper says to do."

I started to feel nervous as Paty unfolded the piece of paper in order to read the task. I had written a fair number of ideas for Gardner to use, but there were certainly far more strands of hair. How many of these tasks were Gardner's ideas and how extreme were these tasks? Was I on the brink of getting a tattoo?

Paty smiled, "Oh! How sweet! It says 'Five kisses'."

I released a breath of relief and happily opened my arms to receive Paty as she came to complete the task. We kissed long and hard, tangling our tongues together. She tasted of sweet wine.

"Wait!" Gardner shouted. "I get some of those."

Paty stepped aside and I began to kiss Gardner. Paty pulled my hair over my ear. I felt her breath tickle my earlobes as though she were whispering something, but it was too quiet to be heard by the microphone on the other side of the room.

"Alright! Open my gift now!" Gardner said as she pulled me close again.

Paty stepped away and began ripping the ribbon on the second box. Gardner cupped my chin in her hand, turned my face to hers and kissed me delicately on my lips. When I opened my eyes I watched her lips mouth the words "I love you".

I looked into her eyes. They seemed sad or perhaps concerned for some reason. I leant towards her to kiss her again, but she raised her hand and placed her fingers over my lips. She stood and turned away.

"How do you mould the leather like this Gardner? These faces look just like Laysan." Paty had pulled a another bust from the second box. This one was almost identical however it did not have all the leather strands representing hair on it.

"It should be a perfect fit," Gardner said.

Paty had pulled some chains of some sort from the box.

"Let's try them out." Gardner stepped behind me and began wrapping my hair around her fist.

Paty held the mask for me to see as Gardner continued manipulating my hair into a manageable knot. I looked at the black leather, so smooth and lifeless. I realized that this leather mass in front of me was meant to be placed on my own head. In a sense, they were about to turn my face off. I started to get anxious. I looked at Paty as she approached but I received no comfort from her face. Her eyes actually seemed to have tears in them.

I started to say "Wait!", but already the soft leather surface of the inside of the mask was being pressed against my skin and quickly wrapped tightly around my head. The leather grasped the underside of my chin and prevented any form of enunciation.

Behind me Gardner was lacing the hood with swift, strong tugs, jerking my head back with each effort. Pads pressed firmly against my eyes. There must have been holes in the leather around my nose and mouth. I could breathe easily and the air was fresh though heavy with the scent of leather.

Paty had picked up my left arm and was pushing my palm up, bending my wrist back. She slid something into a hidden slot at the wrist end of the bracer until I felt a click. When she released my palm, I felt a new chain rising from the bracer, anchored to the underside of my wrist. An identical chain was soon attached to my right wrist as well.

"Come on, Laysan," Paty said into the microphone. Her voice seemed to tremble a little and she ended her command as a whisper.

I tried to express my concern, but the only report that I received was a strange, distant muffled whine that apparently was my voice.

Gardner pulled me to my feet and guided me with her arm around my back for some distance through the mansion. I assume that Paty followed with the microphone as I heard the sound of heels on hardwood. Finally we stopped and my arms were pulled up over my head and fixed in some way so that I couldn't lower them. I heard a humming sound and my arms were slowly raised higher.

Someone grabbed my booted feet and spread them apart. Soon they were locked in place and I could not move them at all.

Fingers began manipulating the locks on the back of my corset. As they were popped off, I felt the corset loosen. Soon it fell away and my naked torso, coated in a sheen of sweat, shivered as the cool air teased my tender flesh.

I tried to turn my head to "look" over my shoulder. I wanted to know what was going on. I heard a muffled cry as the microphone picked up my plea to Paty to say something.

I heard footsteps and someone whispered into my head, "I'm so sorry, Laysan, but we have to do this. One day I hope that you understand and forgive us."

My heart was starting to beat faster and the leather mask no longer seemed to be vented as well as I thought. I twisted what little I could in my chains and the swell of distant muffled cries startled me, particularly knowing that I was their source.

What the hell did she mean? What the hell were they going to do to me? “Paty?!” I tried to scream, but they were no longer speaking to me. I could hear the chains rattle as I pulled on them, trying to free myself.

I heard more footsteps. As I tried to guess which direction they came from, I heard a grunt and a swoosh - something lashing through the air - followed shortly after by a sickening splat. I had no time to register the sound however. A stripe of fire ignited across the length of my back. My body arched and I screamed in pain and shock.

Paty knows that I don't do this. "No!" I screamed. How could she betray me? Surprisingly, those thoughts were almost as painful than the welt. A second time, I felt the burn of the leather strap slice across my back. I shook my head and cried, twisting against the chains that held me in place.

“Paty!? No!!” Holy shit, my back hurt! I'm pretty sure the devil himself was scratching his nails across my skin. I screamed as loud as I could.

My back was burning, but my fear level shot even higher as I felt the fire seep from my back, through my body, the way it seems to do, directly to my crotch. Oh, shit! It was happening again! “No! No!” This time I was screaming at myself, my betraying body. I felt a surge of liquid pass from my nether lips and my pelvic muscles made a series of involuntary contractions.

Please don’t let this happen!

"Paty!" I cried, but the lash continued to fall thick and steady. "Paty! Stop! Please!" And with each impact my sex seized with arousal. I felt the old hate rising inside me - a particular self loathing of my own body’s responses. I felt waves of shame coursing through my body. I did not want this arousal. Please don’t let this be like before!

Paty's voice appeared in my head sounding frightened and draped with tears. "It will be ok, Laysan."

No! She doesn’t even understand! She couldn’t see me like this. I had to get her to stop. I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I hate you!! I hate you, Paty!"

"Stop!" I heard Paty's voice cry in my head. "Stop hitting her. I can't do this!"

"You can't stop now," a third voice screamed. "Keep flogging her, Gardner."

And she did.

To my horror, my bladder muscles failed me. I felt urine splatter the tops of my inner thighs above the leather boots. But that was not all… An orgasm followed that ripped  banshee screams from my chest leaving me sapped, extracting me from this world for a moment only to wake again on the next stroke of the lash.

"I hate you!" I choked again.

Gardner released a mournful wail, but continued to keep her pace. I was no longer in control of the things coming from my mouth. My voice was ragged. Sweat was pouring down my skin. My legs were failing me. The pain of the lash transformed to the betraying arousal. My body was shaking with another orgasm.

The flogging had stopped and I hung from the the overhead chains by my bracers, blubbering and cursing behind my mask - my sex clenching again and again.

"We're stopping now!" Paty cried.

But the other voice stated firmly, "No! You have to break her!"

I tried to scramble to my feet, but they simply slipped out from beneath me. Surely they can already see evidence of my body’s betrayal. I screamed into the mask. But the whipping resumed. Each stroke was like a splash of acid burning into the skin of my back. Each lash forcing lubrication and cum from my traitorous cunt.

I slipped into a dream.

…I was in a wicker basket hiding. They were coming for me. I was tumbling and spinning suddenly. The wicker cracking to pieces all around me. Next, I could hear the snapping and sparking of a fire. I could smell the smoke. I heard the chains being pulled from the flames…

“Oh!” Breathe, Laysan!

I have no idea how long the beating went on. I wasn’t there the whole time. I visited that old, safe place in my head where the walls are hard and solid and pressing me from all sides removing me from the world - keeping me safe.

I lost my voice at some point. I lost my will to live at another. Certainly, that was their plan after all.

My stomach was wretching and heaving. My cunt was still weakly seizing and clenching. My essence was sapped. I couldn't even raise my head up any more. Still, those fucking bitches kept hitting me. I hate them. I hate everybody.

     <>--+-

I awoke. I was laying on my stomach. A soft, heavy blanket lay over me. My back had a strange hot-cold feeling. My sex was achy, but still buzzing a little. I was probably in my coffin. Underground.

But no. There was someone beside me, stroking my hair so tenderly. They were rocking back and forth crying. I could hear a soft mewling sound from their sobs. Someone else was holding one of my hands, stroking my gloved fingers.

My hood had been removed. My earplugs were also gone, but my boots and leashes remained.

I refused to open my eyes. I didn't want to have to see my tormentors. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing my pained looked and how much I needed them to hold me exactly as they were right now.

Once I have the strength, I'm going to get up and leave. I'm never going to come back. I don't care if I am naked, chained and moneyless. I'll fuck someone if I have to, just to get away. I don't care. I'll become a whore. I already am Paty's whore. I'll just find a different pimp who won't make me fall in love with them just so they can crush my heart. Fuck her! Fuck them all!

     <>--+-

Eventually, Gardner released all the padlocks that held my boots in place. She peeled them away and massaged my sore feet. Meanwhile, Paty removed my bracers and pulled the leather gloves from my arms. I simply lay limply allowing them to manipulate my body, but providing only the minimal amount of help to get the infernal costume away from my skin. I reeked with the smell of arousal.

I was shocked when Paty wrapped my leash chains around my arms again and locked my normal bracers back around my forearms. I did not resist.

They helped me into the bathroom where a shallow bath had been drawn. I knelt in water weeping softly as they sponged water and soap around my body. Paty kissed my cheek, but I closed my eyes and turned my head away.

I did not open them again until they had pulled me from the bath and were dabbing my skin dry with a soft towel. They helped me sit backwards in an Amish chair, and as I leaned against the hard wooden back, Gardner and Paty tended to my back with cooling salves.

Finally, they led me to the dungeon. I allowed them to kiss my cheek, but I did not return their hugs and ignored their apologies and voicings of concern. They were all false to me at the moment.

I was happy to climb in my cage, and as soon as the hatch sealed, I buried myself underneath my duvet and swore that I would refuse to ever leave the cage again.

     <>--+-

I fell asleep quickly, but awoke sometime in the middle of the night and lay thinking about how they had betrayed me. I spent a couple of hours simply fixated on what Corwin may have said during Paty's party when she pointed at me. Maybe they were deciding at that very moment that a great present for Paty would be to whip me. Maybe the words that Corwin had said were "Maim her". That certainly matched.

And yet, the burning feel the welts on my back made when I twisted or flexed made my sex swell and clench with arousal and desire. I had to be strong though. I could not allow myself to be consumed by my body’s masochism. Why did my body shame me like this? I could not admit that I enjoyed being whipped. It would be the death of me.

I was exhausted, but awake when Paty came into the dungeon the next morning. She lowered my cage from the rafters, but I did not move out from under my duvet. I decided that I was too tired to leave Paty and make a living as a prostitute at the moment. I edited my plan and decided that I would simply waste away in this cage forever. I would lie here until Paty was forced to scrape my decaying remains from the bottom.

"Laysan?" Paty called hopefully. "Are you hungry?"

I was determined to never eat again. I continued to lay motionless. She reached between the bars and began to stroke my hair and whisper comforts to me. Still, I kept my eyes closed and refused to move.

Paty pulled up a chair and sat next to the cage quietly reading for several hours.

It must have been in the evening time. The only way to track time is to look on the tablet computer, but I didn't even want to show that much interest. I was getting really, really hungry though. I peaked out from underneath the duvet and found a liquid meal sitting in the cage. It's the same shit that they feed me when I wear the gag. "Fitting!" I thought as I swore to never speak to anyone ever again. I took the opportunity to use the bedpan that we keep housed in the understructure of the cage. I sealed its lid and stowed it away. Then I grabbed the meal and retreated to my world underneath the duvet.

The next morning, I was feeling pretty cramped from lying around the cage for so long. When Paty lowered the cage to the floor, I got out, but still refused to talk to her. She took me to the bathroom and bathed me. Afterwards, I had a liquid breakfast and wordlessly returned to my cage for the rest of the day.

We developed a pattern after that. Paty would awaken me in the morning and help me bathe. In the evenings she would read to me as I lay silently in my cage. Women from the BC started to visit quite often when Paty wasn't around simply to check up on me. I decided that they were all guilty, and so, refused to talk to any of them, not even Thetis who had returned from where ever she had been.

On the fourth day Gardner dropped by. She tried to get me to talk to her, but I simply turned away. I saw Paty shaking her head attempting to tell Gardner to leave me alone and let me be. Still, Gardner put her hand on my shoulder which I immediately shrugged off and walked to the other side of the room. Gardner was obviously upset, as she should be. She huffed out of the room.

Lisianski, the psychologist, came by for her weekly visit. She asked me if I wanted to talk. I looked at her for a second. She seemed to have a black eye. Whatever. I turned and looked out the window. After five minutes of silence, I went down to the dungeon and climbed in my cage for the rest of the day.

One day about three weeks later, Paty did not wake me in the morning. It was 2'Ahlay. I did not see Paty around the mansion. She did not come in the evening to read to me.

By the third day, I began to wonder where Paty was. I still refused to talk, so I couldn't ask and no one seemed interested in offering the information to me. I decided that they were trying to make me give up and talk. But, I began to wonder... Had I carried out my term of silence for too long? Has Paty become tired of dealing with me? Have I pushed it too far? I wanted to ask where Paty was but at the same time I didn't feel like breaking my silence yet.

After a week, I was really becoming worried. I wanted her to come back. I missed her.

One day 2'Ahlay brought KaMoi along to give me a massage. I hadn't seen KaMoi in quite a while. I smiled at her when I saw her, for we were sisters in silence now. I think that I saw her smile back. It might have been a smile. I had never seen her show any kind of emotion at all. Maybe she just had gas.

Something happened to me though while she was rubbing my back (which by now had long healed from the bruising left by my abusers). For some reason, I started to sob. Maybe it was something about the way that she was rubbing my back that released all the emotion that I had stored there over the past month. I tried to stop crying, but it seemed that the more that I tried to stop, the heavier the tears became.

Finally, I had to sit up. I looked at KaMoi who stared back at me. I looked at her cuffs and collar which she apparently refused to have cut from her. Indeed, we are sisters. I leaned forward to hug her. I didn't expect her to return the hug, but I just needed to touch someone else. I was surprised though, when she wrapped her arms around me very gently and began to stroke my hair. But I was truly stunned when she said something. No one has ever heard her say a word. I don't even know what language she speaks or what she said. It sounded like she said "La Cream". I wanted to jump up and run around telling people that she had spoken, but when I looked in her eyes, I knew that she meant the words for me only. Somehow I knew that she didn't want me to tell anyone. I tucked myself back up into her hug and stayed there sobbing for a while.

"Beenay," she whispered (or something like that, at least). "Beenay."

Paty returned the next day. I was kneeling on top of a bathroom counter looking at myself in the mirror when she walked in.

"Hi, Laysan! Uh... what are you doing?" she asked.

When I saw her a big smile spread across my face. And didn't want to be happy that she was back. It took me a few moments to get the smile under control. I spent the time staring into the sink next to me.

"Laysan? I'm really happy to see you. I really miss you."

I returned to looking in the mirror. I was kneeling with my left side towards the mirror. I twisted my back to tuck my left shoulder under my chin and pulled at the skin on my back.

"I..." Yes. I looked as though I was going to break my silence. Already tears were starting to form in my eyes. "I always hoped that they'd go away over time..."

Paty let out a muffled sob and placed her hand over her mouth. "I know, sweetheart," she whispered.

I pulled at my skin again. I have a line of scars on my back. They start at the top of my left hip and extend to the top of my right shoulder. I got them when I was 18. They are hideous. The scars start and stop as though someone wrote morse code upon my back in centimeter tall stretches of discolored, mottled, striated skin.

"I just thought maybe they would shrink away over time..." I whispered.

"I know, baby," Paty replied. "But, my love, they are what makes you who you are today."

"How can you stand to even look at me? I've been parading around your mansion naked for five years making everyone look at these hideous scars. How can you all stand it? Why haven't you made me wear something to cover them up?" I cried.

"They are not hideous, my love. I've never known you without them. I fell in love with the woman who has these scars across her back. She is the woman that I love. You are the woman that I love. And since I love you, Laysan, that means I love your scars too. To me, they are beautiful. I couldn't imagine you without them."

"I didn't want them," I cried and stared back to the floor as the tears began to fall in earnest.

"Of course not, my love." Paty wrapped her arms around me and held me close as my body began to shake. My tears ran down my face and soaked into Paty's blouse. I felt her tears drip on my shoulder as well and navigate chilly channels down my back.

"I'm so proud of you, Laysan," Paty whispered. "This is the first time you have ever acknowledged that you even have these scars."

I pulled Paty even closer to me and let my sadness flow into the bathroom and swirl away.

We spent the evening in Paty's bed. She held me close and we whispered to each other how much we loved one another.

"Is that why you did it?" I asked.

"Did what, my love?" Paty responded.

"Is that why you and Gardner beat me? So, that I would deal with my scars?"

"I didn't want to, Laysan. Neither did Gardner. I swear. But, Lisianski said that it would work." Paty laughed a little. "I guess she was right, wasn't she? Don't hate her."

I shook my head. "Lisianski..."

"Yeah. We've been terrified that we had lost you."

"I wanted to leave," I said.

"I know. Gardner was so upset that she hit Lisianski in the face."

I started giggling. "That's terrible!" Still I couldn't help myself and continued to laugh. After a moment, Paty started laughing too.

After I was able to collect myself, I whispered, "Please don't hit me again. Pain… Pain does something to me that I can’t control… I’m afraid of…”

"Believe me, my love…”

“I’m afraid of the way it makes me feel…” I said quietly. Paty simply held me. “So, please don't do that again," I continued, "unless..." I clapped my hand over my mouth afraid of what I was about to say.

     <>--+-

Late that evening, Paty nudged me after we had lay in silence for an extended period of time. "Laysan? Time for bed."

Damn! I didn't want to be alone. I decided to fake that I was asleep. Maybe she would let me sleep in her bed.

"Laysan?" Paty shook my shoulder and waited for a response. I still didn't move. "Oh, damn!" Paty cursed.

She pushed me over onto my back. I let my body flop like I was deep asleep. Then Paty climbed on top of me. The weight of her naked body pushed me comfortably into the mattress.

"Laysan! Wake up!" Paty continued to shake me. After a while I knew that she would realize that I was faking so I pretended to stir and I tried to stretch my arms which Paty had pinned underneath her weight. "Just a little longer, Mistress. Can't I sleep a little longer."

"No, my love. You need to go to your cage. I need to go to sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow."

"No, Mistress, please! I don't want to be alone! Let me stay with you," I whined.

"I'm sorry, love. Get up, let's go!"

I didn't want to get into a fight, so I reluctantly began to slide to the side of the bed.

"Mistress?" I whispered.

"Yes, love."

"Will you lock some chains on me so I can think of you in my cage?"

Paty smiled. "Of course, my love."

Paty found a chain that she locked on the ring of my FOREVER collar. The chain extended to my feet where two wide cuffs fit comfortably around my ankles leaving me with a maximum stride of about a meter. Another half meter chain was conveniently located halfway along the chain which had special plates to slide into the slots on my bracers, locking my wrists together in front of me.

Paty led me down into the dungeon and helped me into my cage. After I had been raised above the lights and into Purgatory, I lay smiling to myself - happy to be communicating with Paty again.

Pain is a litigious pleasure. The pleasure of the payoff may be great, but it always has a price. And, if you lose against pain…

I pulled the heavy chain to my torso and held onto it as tightly as I could until I drifted off to sleep.